Almost every weekend from the end of April to the End of October I shoot a wedding. I hold my camera to my face, sometimes with tear filled eyes, and I watch the most important day of a couple’s life in a 1×1″ window. Sometimes I look back to this day, 5 years ago, and feel like I watched it through a 1×1.
The day we got married was a blur, but I do remember feeling like I couldn’t love anyone more than I loved this man on this particular day. I was definitely wrong, because I love him more now than I ever could have on our wedding day. Our excited love turned into respect and an unconditional devotion. It turned into a family. It turned to three. Every time I look at my son I’m reminded that love made him. It’s amazing to think the love Iain has for peanut butter and jelly, the movie Cars, and trains were created by two people in love. Amazing.
I look back at the 5 years we’ve been married and I can’t believe how far we’ve come. Our young love saw the hardest times of Ramen noodles, unemployment, and loss. We couldn’t afford heat, so we wrapped up in blankets with hot chocolate, while our house dropped down to 58 degrees in the winter.
We mourned together during several different occasions, but we’ve also seen a multitude of blessings. Coming out of the hard times, I realize what a foundation that has built for us. I’m thankful for those hard times because we appreciate the blessings so much more.
Each weekend I capture couples starting their own journey. We root for them. We want to see them coming out of their hard times knowing it only made them stronger.
Here is some advice that has been shared with us that I think is great:
- Things will always get hard at some point, but if you are selfless and learn from your struggles, it creates a strong marriage.
- Love even when you don’t feel loved (Steve has always been much better at this than me). One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. Not, one should treat others as others are treating oneself.
- I’m not a firm believer in the “Don’t let the sun go down on troubles” saying. Some things need to be discussed, this is true. Not everything. Other issues need time to cool and be re-approached. No reason to stay up until 4 am over the dishes or a toilet paper roll.
- Be honest and remember that you are a team, don’t try to attack an issue alone. Doing it together builds trust.
- Manage your money well.
Who are those people? 5 years younger than us.
Happy Anniversary to my best friend. I’m so thankful you loved me back, so we can spend the rest of our lives together.
I love you, Steve.